Rolemaster Hard Mode

So I'm playing Diablo 2 again, yay!

Almost died tonight, walked round the corner into 20ish skel lightning archers who volleyed MahlerX in the face.  It's all about resistances and I was taking the piss. Close one.

Or not.  Most probably not.

I've been thinking about D3 and how it will in fact be Titan Quest 2 (i.e. like Diablo 2, but a helluva lot easier).  The will to make another Diablo game isn't there.  You can't now.  How many of us have played D2? All of us.  How many have Guardians.  None of us.  I reckon only two of us even know what that is.  Most of us never even got Patriarchs.  Blizz can't make em like this anymore.  In D3 if you buy your ticket you'll get your Patriarch, they'll probably sell Guardian in the online store for 20 bucks with a sparkle-pony.

Anyways this paradigm shift has a serious impact on Rolemaster.  We've lost a few already.  Phil rolled his Ranger, he wanted to see all the kewl powars Rangers did and now he can't.  He paid for that 'content' (in train fees) and should see it.  It's his right as a consumer.  He's got a life and doesn't have time to restart just because RM is a stupid game for dedicated no-lifer basement-dwellers.  Where's Dave's love for the casual gamer?  They pay too.  You all pay. Every...Single...Time.

So to address this outrageous favoritism for people who try we're going to run RM in Hard Mode from now on.

Hard Mode House Rules

Health:  Spells or potions will no longer be necessary to recover hit points.  The mobs will drop glowing energy balls you just walk over to restore your health.  No wait, the balls will drift towards you as you approach them.

Experience:  Many have quite rightly suggested that in 20 years no-one has ever got higher than level 10 in RM despite paying to attend many sessions and suffering the inconvenience of talking to me about stuff.  To address this serious failure I've optimised the XP to curve to a more comfortable level. 2xp per level.

P.U.Gs: Unfortunately you can only play with the guys that show up.  Most of these people are retarded, I know.  How the fuck are you supposed to see all your content when idiots tie themselves up and jump off cliffs for no reason real that anyone can understand.  We can't let them get in the way of you and your fucking content, God for-fucking-bid that should happen.  Consequently all fights will be scaled to 1 player.  1 mob.

Death:  When you die you are sent on a 'corpserun' to Jacksons for a Malboro Light 10-deck and a packet of Frazzles.  You character 'revives' when you return.  Just like in real life.

You can consider this an initial test.  A beta if you like.  If it doesn't pan out we can try Normal Mode:

Normal Mode House Rules

I just tell you a fucking story about you killing stuff and what treasure you find and you choose what to equip.


So there you go, I know you'll all love these changes.

Wait why are you looking at me like that? Oh wait, no...

...there is no Easy Mode.

GM vs Players

If I'm going spew my venom up all over the internet I'd better add some, you know actual content.  I know I like to read the blogs of commentators on other blogs, heaven forbid someone ends up back here.

I could forgive you for thinking my games are hell and that I hate my players.  You'd be right but it's okay, my players hate me too and they were forged in hell.

What is GMvP
It is, in simple terms, an RPG in which the GM tries to kill the players and they try to stop him.
It's always demonstrably your fault if you lose (on either side).
Campaigns are disposable.

Another successful campaign reaches it's denouement

What GMvP is not
It is not 'More Hardcore Than You'.  One of my players runs games as merciless as any I've played.  But they are not GMvP as he works within constraints GMvP can't support.  Notably a plan.  This guy toys with us in ways you just cannot do without a plan.

If a TPK (Total Party Kill) would be annoying to the GM for any reason it's not GMvP.

The payoff for the players is transformed. If there isn't one then you're just a sadist and it's not GMvP.

I don't expect many GMs have unloaded an entire dungeon level simultaneously on their party because clearly you are going to TPK those players.

Or not. How many GM's players have slaughtered an entire dungeon level simultaneously.  The payoff is glory. A glory bought with corpses but glory nonetheless.  Stories other players cannot tell.  GMvP players achieve things that other games rightly dare not make them do and that they rightly should not try.

The side effect is that your players become acutely aware of just how much they are actually capable of once they open themselves to more risk than would be strictly sane.  You can't rein them back in either; once you are prepared to kill your game for a TPK you can't expect them to play it ultra-safe to keep your precious game alive either.  That bond of trust you used to have is broken.

But fuck me it's fun.  Even when I lose, and I mostly lose.  You'd be surprised what players are capable of.

The insufferable futility of the Rolemaster GM.

Yeah you think you're pretty fucking special now dontcha?

For some of you that was your first taste of instagibbing hard-asses you have no business to be fighting at all.  So you're all very pleased with yourselves, no doubt, sending that super-elite packing with the same arrow sticking out both sides of his fruit.

It's happened before and it will happen again. I could just run D&D and never have to worry about this shit.  A 15th level cleric hardass wouldn't even flinch taking on 6 level 1 asshats, that's the most analogous situation to the one we had yesterday by the way: 1 hardass, 6 asshats.  Yeah level 15, now you're even more full of yourselves no doubt.

Bloody players.

So I've been spending the last week dropping shit-loads of hardass all over the map that we'll be spraying player corpses over for the rest of this campaign.  And you're going to run into these hardasses.  Only this isn't FagEd D&D.  You'll have found these hardasses only because you went where they are.  Not because they are the statistically optimal next thing that you should fight. Not because I have some bizarre duty to mother you from level 1 to 20.  It will be just because you went there.

You are going to get in shit that's out of your league.

Shit thats out of your league

You can just pray for instagibs every time of course. Good luck with that.

I heard some complaints about how 'I must have expected you to attack that guy' during the first few rounds of being picked off like noobs in a TF2 arena.

Yup, I know you belligerent maniacs will in all likelihood take the bait and in all likelihood I'll TPK you.  I'm trying to kill you.  I drink your tears.

I failed this time.  But I'll be back you bastards.

You magnificent bastards.

Rant Archive: Optimised characters

Right Listen Up!

Despite RM having 20 classes and 111 skills our party seems to be merging into some kind of bizarre singularity of plate-wearing, composite bow firing, Paladin-Rogues. What's going on?

...so screw you guys.

Characters that are not suitably differentiated from existing characters will be dealt with in the only way I know how, my critical tables. I have a table for rape damage you know, I'm not joking, RM actually went there. I'm drawing up the bonuses Trolls get right now.

I appreciate there are only basically 3 ways of killing things but you don't all have to use a fucking composite bow.

There is more than enough room for 4 different fighters, 4 different rogues and about 200 different casters. There are 79 fucking secondary skills, you have 5 each. And yet somehow there are still 74 things none of you can do.

From now on weapon skills will be learnt individually instead of in categories. I'll continue to dilute your DPs like this until I get 7 demonstrably different characters. Every skill I add is something you fail at by default, don't provoke me.

If differentiating your characters solely on their expertise at doing a logger without getting poo on their hands becomes necessary then it's something I'm more than happy to consider. Don't make me add the Toilet skill.

I'm starting to enjoy these FB rants, I think they'll become a regular feature of RM

(and yeah I'm exaggerating and yeah I'm not even actually angry, but it's way more fun to make points this way)

Rant Archive: 4ed 'campaign' meltdown

The whole edition is bland and should be destroyed.

4ed is turd, it's over, who wants my books, first reply wins (although I use the term 'win' in it's loosest sense, in the same way that you might be considered to 'win herpes').

Take your pick

(Apparently that's Gary Gygax's daughter fact fans; didn't use CHA as a dump stat when he rolled her up)

I'm slating a game for the 20th but god knows not that shit, pick one of these (or not):

D&D: You know the Red-Box edition. It's the motherfucking Porsche of D&D editions and will handle 7 of you badasses easily. Both Caves Of Chaos and Quasqeton were D&D by the way, before anyone suggests that D&D is less hardcore than AD&D.

AD&D 1ed: I just have a boner for this at all times.

Hackmaster: Although most of you have the experience to handle 2hp Fighters and 12 WIS Clerics and take your badass skillzor to extreme new levels some of you may still be a bit frightened. But Hack is crunchy, with 4 players it's slow but with 7?

Rolemaster sandbox homebrew: If you want some sandbox then god I'll even prepare for sessions. I'm kinda bored so have the time on my hands. Best magic system and critical damage in any game ever by a million miles.

Middle Earth (Rolemaster rulez): Got a shitload of MiddleEarth adventures if you fancy that. In the book style, not the emo-bullshit movie style. I used to run it so kinda think fondly of it, ah some of these modules... Gates of Mordor lol, I had that one back in the day so the odds are high.

Middle Earth(MERP rulez): Same but with stripped down rules, faster but still brutal.

Spacemaster: Pew-pew lasers.

Pirates!: It's in Rolemaster rules and you're pirates. May get boring after the 100th fucking ship battle. Been on my things-to-do list since 1990. Though it's not 7th Sea which is for pussies, so that's good.

Leave it to GM's whim: You must be fucking insane.

Somebody else runs something: Only vote for this if you're doing the running.

Nothing: Maybe Rifts is teh best thing EVAR I dunno.